1. Introduction

Here’s the thing just like “the fat friend” every good girl has a “slutty friend”. She lives vicariously through her slutty friend. Eventually the good girl gets a boyfriend and the boyfriend gets to hear all the “crazy” things the slut friend does. The fact that she screwed her boss for a promotion. She’s slept with everyone in her department. In college she blew half the football team. Of course we smile and say, “oh honey, what a whore”. Then one day you come home early from work and your whorish best friend is wearing her Agent Provocateur top and covered from the waist down in Smucker’s strawberry jam and caramel. Now before you get all crazy and ask weird questions like, “what was he about to do with the wire hanger in his hand” or why is there a sock puppet on his penis. We should think about it like rational adults and you’ll soon see, it’s really all your fault.

2. Free Dating Personals

Let’s be honest ever since you got comfortable in the (he’s really not going anywhere) relationship, you started slacking on your gf duties. It started when you stopped wearing sexy underwear, not letting him give you a cranky pirate. Maybe you stopped Wednesday plastic bag and duct tape night. Or letting him practice Kinbaku-bi on you while throwing cold cuts at your for head? Whatever it is you’ve been slacking.

3. Dating Classifieds

We get it, you’re so comfortable with us that we’re now at that point where we get to see you in those comfty grey granny panties that are so old you can see the elastic barely holding it together. I mean that’s so hot. But then when you tell us all those wild sexual stories about your slutty friend blowing her way backstage to meet 50 cent, well it turns us on a little. We might say that we’re disgusted by her behavior but what we’re really thinking is, we wish you’d get that freaky with us. When you tell us about her sexual exploits while ours has decreased by 50% on the freaky scale, it’s like waving raw steak at a starving dog that lives at Michael Vick’s house (wait, is it too soon?). Why tempt us?You don’t hear us talking about our best friend with a 13′ johnson who gives multiple orgasms to every woman he sleeps with do you? On top of this she’s always throwing us suggestive looks and flirting with us as soon as you turn your back.

4. Personals

So the lesson here is if your man cheats on you with your whorish friend and you catch him. It’s your fault. Keep your slutty friends away from your man, nothing good can come of it. There’s a direct correlation between the moment you stop wearing the sexy lacy stuff and the moment your mans eye/ penis starts wondering. This post has been brought to you based on the events that happened to a friend.

5. Why don’t girls do it more

Ladies, I know how hard it is out there on the single scene. Hell, I know how cut throat it can be in the bar/ clubs of DC, all the competition. Catty girls in extra slutty clothing, your fat friend that no guys really want to talk to so she gives death looks to every guy you think is cute. On top of all this madness us guys have a pretty short attention span when we start drinking bourbon. What’s a girl looking for cock supposed to do? One of the cool things I’ve been seeing for the last couple of weeks is the “girl pickup”. A girl comes up and says something to a guy she’s interested in. Why don’t girls do this more? Seriously. It doesn’t even have to be anything complicated. What always works on me is a simple compliment. “I like your shirt, shoes, cologne, bald head” or “even I think you’re cute”. Every time a girl has ever given me a compliment I’ve bought her a drink and talked to her. I know exactly how terrifying it can be to approach someone and start something out of thin air, every man knows. For a woman to do it takes guts. But you get major points in my book for not wasting time. As soon as an attractive woman compliments me first, I go into auto pilot. I mean we just saved so much time without me going into my routine, she laughs, then touches her hair, smiles touches my arms. I smile, laugh, act like I don’t notice. We repeat and then fast forward to her putting hot sauce on my balls, wait what? The second option is having one of your bi-curious male friends come over and tell us you’re interested. This actually happened to my while I was on a date with a little dime piece. A group of about four girls sent their guy friend over and asked me to stop by. Since my date was cute I declined the gentleman’s offer. But if she wasn’t I would have totally pulled a, “peace out, c-ya when I c-ya”. The point being ladies if you want a man go get him, and why not? I think every woman should try this at least once a weekend. I think there is something to be said about a woman who breaks social norms and goes after a man. It just lets me know that she’s not here to play games and is willing to take all the guess work out of the “is she into me or not” part of it.